For the longest time I held myself to such high standards in so many different aspects of my life, that should I not live up to these impractical standards, I would beat myself up mentally and emotionally for it. And that would then lead to low self-worth for failing these exhausting goals, and setting even more and higher standards to make up for it. It was a toxic cycle that did nothing for me but exaggerate the areas of my life I wanted to improve on, and create a habit of blindly longing for things and not creating practical ways to get there.
Something I lacked was good planning skills and the discipline to follow through. I didn’t write down my goals, instead I bundled them up in my head into undistinguished piles and then watched as the weeks rolled past while I wasted away my time on mindless distractions that did nothing for me.
I am the only driving factor that will see them turn from ideas into actual ‘things’. And 10 years from now, I want to look back and think, ‘yeah, I wasn’t in the best place in my 20’s, but look what an amazing life I’ve made for myself! And look at all the seeds of creativity I’ve planted and how great they’ve all grown’. And right now, all that rests in my hands; the seedlings of potential waiting to be planted and watered.
You need to make that conscious decision, not only right now, but every moment of everyday, to do what’s best for you and your higher purpose. You need to make a passion of creating the most amazing life for yourself, even if sometimes it sucks and its difficult and you don’t want to work. Because you deserve all the happiness and success in life, just like anyone else, and no one is going to bring it to you but you.
It seems so simple but it took me a long time to realize that; I am worthy. Showing yourself compassion and forgiveness is such an important practice that isn’t taught to people enough. Realising that we are ALL flawed humans and make mistakes on a regular basis, and that is absolutely okay. When you mess up, get up and make it right. Your life is yours to create, and the way you spend your time right now is influencing that.
But also realise that these things can take time to show themselves to you, and appreciate that. Buying plants and giving them water and sunlight everyday helped me learn that. If we give ourselves the same love and care and patience, our efforts will bloom into these accomplishments that we can be proud of, and go on to make even better.
So now I move on with a new, big, exciting chapter of my life. I can’t control how fast things work out for me, but I can control how hard I work towards my aspirations and dreams. Starting over and re-directing my life is a little daunting, but I have a strong faith that it will all work out. Perspective and mental clarity and respect for yourself in all manners of emotional, physical and mental well-being is everything.
TLDR; Be kind! to yourself as you learn and grow as a person. Believe in yourself, cause you’re fundamental factor to creating your dreams into realities. Create realistic goals. Make daily mantras of turning your projects and goals into passions. Appreciate the space between starting a project and finishing it.